The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide

Boomer Guide joins Blogging Boomer Carnival for weekly reports on boomer happenings

By Rita R. Robison

Baby boomers, born between 1946 and 1964, are America’s largest age group so far, and a fascinating group they are.

Boomers are leading corporations, serving as governmental officials, heading up non-profits, worrying about retirement, and experiencing layoffs at a higher rate than younger workers. They’re also reinventing themselves in trying economic times, with some looking for their dream jobs to keep them happy in retirement.

At each stage in their lives, boomers have changed things. They’re continuing to make America different as they begin entering into their retirement years.

For about five years, a web community of boomer bloggers has been covering the boomer scene and posting weekly about what their blogs are covering. They call themselves the Blogging Boomer Carnival and last week, I joined their ranks.

This week, Anne Maxfield at Accidental Locavore is hosting the roundup with “Blogging Boomer Carnival 259: A Celebration of Mother’s Day.”

Anne reports on blogs about grandmotherly advice for teenagers, what working mother’s want, and tips for stressed out moms.

Other members of the Blogging Boomer Carnival are: The Midlife Crisis Queen, Sightings at 60, Arabian Tales and Other Amazing Adventures, So Baby Boomer, Vaboomer, Empty House Full Mind, and Witty Woman Writing. 

Copyright 2012, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Tips for stressed-out women this Mother’s Day

There’s no doubt about it. Being a mom in these modern times can be stressful.

Women are more likely than the general public to cite as sources of stress family health concerns – 57 percent for women, 53 percent for the general public – and family responsibilities – 62 percent for women, 57 percent for the general public, according to the American Psychological Association survey, “Stress in America: Our Health at Risk.”

In addition, caregivers, both men and women, are more likely to report higher levels of stress than others, 6.5 for caregivers and 5.2 for the general public, in 2011, on a scale of one to 10 where one is low stress and 10 is high stress).

“What I see in my practice is that too often women are so focused on other people’s needs that they neglect the stress in their own lives,” Rosalind Dorlen, Psy.D., chair of the New Jersey Psychological Association Public Education Committee and spokewoman for the American Psychological Association, said in a statement. “With so many competing responsibilities, women often don’t take time for themselves, and their overall wellness can be compromised.”

For Mother’s Day, New Jersey Psychological Association offers these strategies for busy women, mothers, and caregivers:

Take care of yourself – Set aside time to engage in healthy activities that you enjoy or that help you relax. Identify hobbies, increase exercising or eating healthy foods. Making time for yourself will help you better manage stressful situations and allow you to better care for the whole family. Also, find something that makes you laugh – humor is important, and laughter can make life a whole lot easier.

Recognize how you deal with family stress – Some people deal with stress by engaging in unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking, drinking, comfort eating, or yelling and becoming irritable. Remember that stress is inevitable. What makes the biggest difference is how you manage that stress.

Reach out to others – Enlist and accept help from others including friends and family. Identify ways your family can help with specific needs that must be met such as proving a meal or babysitting so you can find time to take a break and rejuvenate. Take time to connect with your women friends when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Strong female friendships can help women overcome stressors.

Keep things in perspective – Remind yourself that each morning offers a new start and take things one step at a time. Realize that there’s no one perfect way to parent. Staying optimistic lowers stress.

Prioritize – You can only do one thing at a time. Delay or say no to the unimportant tasks, and make appointments for more important tasks, such as spending quality time with a spouse or child.

Be organized – Keeping the family and yourself organized reduces stress. Put family health information in separate folders; get family members to keep laundry in color-coded baskets; keep book bags in assigned bins. Harried searching for things adds to mom’s stress. Enlist your children’s help in developing an organization plan for your household – if they’re involved in the planning, they’ll be more likely to follow through.

Ask for professional help – If you feel overwhelmed by stress or the unhealthy behaviors you use to cope, you may want to talk with a psychologist who can help you address the emotions behind your worries, better manage stress, and change unhealthy behaviors.

Copyright 2012, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Tips for surviving a less than perfect holiday

By Rita R. Robison

If the holiday season fills you with dread, a book by Teri Johnson, life coach, may offer some help.

Confronting the negative “nevers” of the disappointments in your life is where the healing can start, said Johnson, who has struggled with alcoholism and the destructive habits it brings. Her book is called "Overcoming the Nevers."

“We start to believe lies about ourselves, such as ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m undeserving,’” she said. “We escape our pain and these toxic feelings into unhealthy behaviors and addictions.”

Johnson said there’s hope in falling in love with who we are so that we can experience a joy-filled season and a joy-filled life.

Copyright 2011, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Dealing with difficult family during the holidays

By Beverly Flaxington, Career Coach

Guest Blogger

It doesn’t matter how old we get or how many holidays we celebrate – for some people, family members make our celebration less than enjoyable. Family dynamics that have simmered for years will often rear up at the holidays and join us at the dining table or around the cozy fireplace.

Family issues are particularly hard because of the emotional component associated with them. We have history. We have experience. We have unresolved issues in some cases. So, what’s a person to do in an effort to enjoy the holidays this year?

• Realize you do have a choice. Yes, it’s very hard to be hurt, angry, or otherwise frustrated by a family member. But remember that we always retain the right to our own response and our own reactions. The family member may do what they’ve always done, but you don’t have to respond in the way you always have in return. Choose this year to break the cycle.

• Remember that, “This too shall pass.” The holidays are a point in time. Granted they’re loaded with emotional content, but they’re overall very short-lived. Keep your perspective when the difficult person or people start in with whatever it is that upsets you. Use these four words as your mantra. Soon, it will be the end of December, and it'll all be over and you’ll have another year to prepare.

• Remove yourself from the scene. Sometimes when a family member is particularly hurtful or the bickering becomes unbearable, it’s best to just quietly get up and leave the scene. Walk outside, go into another room, or strike up conversation with another family member. Physically separate yourself from the person who is upsetting to you. 

If you’re able to sing a happy song, remember a fond experience, or focus on something positive while you remove yourself, even better. Try to find ways to give yourself room and bring your attention to something other than the person who’s being difficult for you.

• Separate fact from fiction. Many of us are taught to believe there’s a “perfect” holiday, a “perfect” family, and the “perfect” gifts being given. Know that all families have their own ways of being together and many times it’s not particularly positive. Don’t set yourself up by thinking there’s something wrong with your family because you don’t have a perfect time in each other’s company.
  

Prepare yourself in advance by promising to find something good about everyone you interact with, in spite of their actions. In fact, many family members will act out just to get a reaction from you, so prepare yourself. Be ready to laugh at something that historically made you mad. Or compliment someone who seems undeserving of it. It’s helpful here to remember the temporary part. You can find something good for a short period of time about anybody.

Most of all remember that these are your holidays, too. Choose not to let someone else ruin them for you.

Flaxington is author of “Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior.”

Copyright 2011, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Top seven money fears

Most consumers, at times, have fears about money. I know that I’ve had times in my life when thoughts have flashed through my mind just as I’m trying to get to sleep that I’m not going to be able to keep it together financially.

The Financial Highway offers this list of the seven most common money fears:

1. I will never have enough money.
2. I don’t know what I would do if I had plenty of money.
3. I can’t understand money.
4. I have to be responsible for other people’s money.
5. My money represents something important about me.
6. I will lose my job and not be able to earn money.
7. There is something wrong with talking about money.

See the Financial Highway’s “Seven Most Common Money Fears: How to Overcome Them” for more information on these fears and how to lessen them.

Thanks to The Consumerist for providing a link to this article.

Copyright 2010, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

What should you do when your income drops?

If you’ve lost your job or had a loss of income for other reasons, it’s a challenge in the best of times. In the current economy, it’s essential to map out a plan to get back on your feet again.

Possible ways for moving forward include:

• Think positive
• Simplify your lifestyle
• Work temporarily at a second job
• Find another job
• Return to school
• Start your own business

When mapping out a plan, consider:

• The magnitude of the problem
• Your assets
• Your priorities
• Your options
• The unexpected
• A timeline

See the University of Georgia Cooperative Extension Web page, When Your Income Drops, for fact sheets, activities, and PowerPoint presentations to help you brainstorm and make a plan for the future.

Copyright 2010, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Top 10 consumer books of the decade

Recently, I wrote about the best consumer books of 2009.

Below are my choices for the best consumer books of the decade. You can order them through my blog by clicking on the Amazon.com ad in the column to the right.

1. "Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All American Meal" by Eric Schlosser. Schlosser describes how fast food has affected everything from ranching and farming to diets and health, from marketing and labor practices to larger economic trends.

2. "Payback: Debt and the Shadow Side of Wealth" by Margaret Atwood. Atwood examines debt, history, society, and literature to shed light on the current financial turmoil.

3. "The Omnivore’s Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals" by Michael Pollan. A thorough examination of the industrialization of the modern American food system and what we eat.

4. "Simplify Your Life" by Elaine St. James. An easy-to-read book that offers tips to help consumers reduce possessions and processes in their lives.

5. "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe Dominquez and Vicki Robins. This book offers a systematic way to look at your money and what you really want in life so that you can develop a unique action plan to achieve your goals.

6. "The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community" by David C. Korten. Korten believes a great, grassroots social movement can create the world we really want.

7. "The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way" by Wayne Dyer, Ph.D. Dyer believes intention is a force that allows the act of creation to take place.

8. "Our Daily Meds: How the Pharmaceutical Companies Transformed Themselves into Slick Marketing Machines and Hooked the Nation on Prescription Drugs" by Melody Petersen. The former New York Times reporter examines the pharmaceutical industry and its influence on America's medical system.

9. "The Prosperous Retirement – Guide to the New Reality" by Michael Stein. The new retirement, in which people are living longer and have a healthier and more vigorous in old age, has three stages – the go-go phase, the go-slow phase, and the no-go phase.

10. "Nickel and Dimed: How (Not) Getting By in America" by Barbara Ehrenreich. Ehrenreich lived for two years on the wages of the average unskilled American worker to find out how America's working poor live.

Add these consumer books to your library to help you improve your consumer choices and reach your goals.

Disclosure: When you order books through my blog on Amazon.com, I receive a small commission.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Baby boomers need to be resilient during the holiday season

What should baby boomers do during the holidays when things spin out of our control, and we’re hit with disappointment, loss, and heightened levels of anxiety and pressure?

In the article "The Baby Boomer Holiday Ritual: Wishing You a Merry Resilience," Carol Orsborn, boomer writer, gives this advice:

It's often enough just to remember to breathe. Wrap yourself in the warmest blanket and cozy down in the biggest armchair you can find and acknowledge what you're feeling.

In the beginning, you don't have to be brave or worry about cheering yourself and others up. In fact, if you are hit with the knowledge that your holidays are spinning out of control, the first thing you may need to do is grieve the loss of the fantasy.

Once you've had a good pout, tantrum, or cry over it, you'll find yourself able to embrace rather than suppress important parts of yourself that you’ll need to call upon in order to make the most of the holidays. And that, fellow boomers, is – indulge me – definitely something to celebrate.

Resilience is less a matter of the things that happen to us, and more about the attitudes we adopt, Orsborn says in the article. And, she adds, research shows that the older we become, the more resilient we have the opportunity to become.

Good luck this holiday season. I’ve already had the opportunity to practice resilience, and I’m sure I’ll be able to have another turn soon.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

What does spirituality mean in America?

 

A new survey by Parade magazine reports 69 percent of Americans believe in God, 77 percent pray outside of religious services, and 75 percent believe it’s a parent’s responsibility to give children a religious upbringing.

However, even though 45 percent of respondents called themselves religious, 50 percent said they rarely or never attend worship services.

The Parade survey offers an interesting look at spirituality in America.

In analyzing the data, Christine Wicker, author of the book "The Fall of the Evangelical Nation," said what Americans are doing today is separating spirituality from religion, with many people disavowing organized practice altogether while privately maintaining some form of worship.

The old terms – "atheist" and "agnostic" – are no longer catch-alls for everyone outside traditional belief, Wicker said. For example, 24 percent of respondents put themselves into a whole new category: "spiritual but not religious."

That phrase means different things to different people, she said. Some may be members of traditional religions but want to signal that they aren’t legalistic or rigid. At the other end of the spectrum, "spiritual but not religious" can apply to someone who has combined diverse beliefs and practices into a personal faith that fits no standard definition.

As Americans’ ideas of spirituality have become more expansive, so have their attitudes toward people of different faiths, Wicker said. Only 12 percent of respondents said that their own religion was the only true faith, 12 percent said no religion has validity, and 59 percent said all religions are valid.

Take a look at the survey results. It makes for interesting reading.

For example, only 15 percent of respondents thought religion should be a key factor in political decisions, while 58 percent said religion and politics should not mix at all.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

What are the top 10 things that irritate you?

 

Yesterday my car broke down on the freeway. Today, because I’d borrowed a friend’s car, I was driving the speed limit in the slow lane.

Big trucks kept passing me. That’s when I decided to write this post.

Here are the top 10 things, in no special order, that annoy me:

• Trucks that exceed the speed limit.

• People who don’t communicate positively.

• Low-quality and poor customer service.

• People who crowd in front of me in a line, and drivers who cut me off.

• Salesmen and women who use high-pressure sales tactics.

• Conservatives who distort the facts.

• Telemarketers who call and try to sell me things I don’t want.

• Fast food with low nutritional quality.

• Violence.

• Bad movies and television.

As a baby boomer consumer, what are the 10 things that irritate you most about life?

The article “Researchers Figure Out the Most Irritating Things” points out that the reaction of a person to stress may negatively influence one's health, increasing blood pressure and leading to problems in relationship and nervousness.

The researchers recommended being assertive to come up with a “win-win” outcome.

My next post will be on “What Are the Top 10 Things That Bring You Joy?”

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist