The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide

Is the Internet interfering with your family life?

Americans spend 32.7 hours a week online.

As a result, they’re spending less time with their families.

In a survey, 28 percent of Americans said they’ve been spending less time with members of their households, the Annenberg Center for the Digital Future at the University of Southern California reports. That's nearly triple the 11 percent who said that in 2006.

A 10-year-old girl told how her dad spends a lot of the little time he has at home on the computer, on the NPR program “Daddy, What’s a Facebook?” She described how her little brother throws tantrums to get his dad’s attention when he’s using the computer so long.
 
What’s happening in your home? Are your family relationships being affected negatively by computer use? Is the problem worse since Facebook and Twitter have become so popular?

Do you have limits on how much teens can use the computer? Do your teens have their own laptops?

Write a comment below and let me know if soaring Internet use is causing squabbles in your home.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison

What to buy a baby boomer dad for father’s day

About 17 million baby boomers are fathers.

I e-mailed six boomer dads and asked what they’d like to receive for a Father’s Day present.

Computer gadgets and a Sirius satellite radio were two of the requests.

Another boomer dad wants Bill O'Reilly’s newest book, a stainless steel sauté pan, a new putter, and a barbecue with his two daughters.

One dad said it would be great if his two sons volunteered to work for three days on clean up activities for the family’s vacation cabin.

A boomer dad with young children wistfully envisions a nice quiet day with a tasty steak and cold beer at the end of the day.

Similarly, another boomer dad wants a day at the beach on his Hobie Cat 17 sailboat, good winds, a great lunch, lots of sun, and no work.

More gift ideas

Amazon.com suggests giving your dad CDs from the 1960s and 70s. Their Web page Great Gifts for Your Baby Boomer Dad also recommends books including “How to Retire Early and Live Well With Less Than a Million Dollars” and “Eight Weeks to Optimum Health: A Proven Program for Taking Full Advantage of Your Body’s Natural Healing Power.” A Canon PowerShot S100 2MP Digital ELPH Camera Kit w/ 2x Optical Zoom is another suggestion.

You can also choose from books on a list of Books for Grownups recommended by AARP and Publishers Weekly. Among the offerings are “Do-Over: In Which a Forty-Eight-Year-Old Father of Three Returns to Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom, and Other Embarrassments” and “Closing Time: A Memoir.”

If you want to give your dad electronic gadgets, the article “11 Affordable Father’s Day Gifts Dads Will Want” on mint.com offers suggestions for under $100.

A different kind of gift

Probably the most unusual gift suggestion I came across in my consumer research is from the U.S. Department of Agriculture. In its article, “Top Five Father’s Tips From USDA,” the department recommends giving your dad a food thermometer to make sure food is safe.

Other Father’s Day suggestions the department offers are: visit a local farmers’ market, explore a local forest or park, plant your own garden, and cook a healthy meal with dad.

Father's Day spending

Americans are expected to spend an average of $91 on gifts for dad, down slightly from $95 last year. Total spending is expected to reach $9.4 billion, the Nation Retail Federation reports. 

Other highlights from the federation’s annual survey include:

• Consumers will spend the most – $1.9 billion – on a special outing such as a dinner or a sporting event. 

• Clothing still ranks high among gift givers who are expected to spend $1.3 billion on new socks, slacks, and ties.

• Others will treat dad to a gift card – $1.2 billion; electronics – $1 billion; books or CDs – $548 million; home improvement items – $522 million; and sporting goods – $502 million.

More Father's Day gift resources for consumers

“Perfect Father’s Day Gifts for Baby Boomers” – Associated Content

"Father’s Day Gifts Under $50” – NBC Philadelphia

“Father’s Day Gift the Cheapskate Can Endorse” – The Cheapskate Blog on Time

Best wishes with your search for a present for your dad and your Father's Day activities. I hope you'll be able to visit with or talk with your dad on Father's Day.

My next post will be "A Tribute to My Dad on Father's Day."

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Twins a startling surprise for baby boomer couple

Before Mother’s Day, I wrote a tribute to baby boomers having babies.

My niece Debra decided to have a baby when she was 50, making me aware of the joys and challenges of being a boomer and having a new baby.

Laura Petrie saw the post and left me a wonderful comment on boomer parenthood. Here’s her story:

I guess you could say I’ve always been a late bloomer: late 20s when I finally graduated from law school; nearly 30 when I married my husband, Michael; now, my 40s for becoming a first-time mom!

Not that we didn’t want or try to have children sooner. We spent the better part of a decade on the emotional roller-coaster ride called infertility treatments, trying every new procedure known to science, with no luck. There we were, two healthy, otherwise happy, successful professionals with everything in the world going for us, except no apparent ability to do what most people simply took for granted: producing children.

When I turned 40, we finally gave up. Our 12-year marriage had produced no children. We were empty nesters who’d never had the privilege of actually experiencing a full nest.

To combat our disappointment over being childless, we made a list of fantasy goals and resolved to accomplish everything on the list. We bought a very kid unfriendly beach bungalow with magnificent ocean views, but zero backyard; a ridiculously expensive and impractical two-seater sports car; and we began traveling the world.

As near as I can tell, it was probably Paris where we must have conceived. It had been a month of touring the wine regions of France and Italy, No. 4 on our fantasy goal list. The City of Lights was brimming with a spirit of romance, and we were as two young lovers once again.

Back in California, relaxing on the front deck of our home, sipping wine purchased in Tuscany, and watching the sun set gloriously into the Pacific, we might have seemed to all the world as possessing the perfect baby boomer lifestyle. But it wasn’t what I’d envisioned when we first walked down the aisle all those years ago. I’d thought by now there would be a house filled with kids.

It was a week or so later that I took a home pregnancy test. ‘I think I might be pregnant,’ I told Michael, my tone of indifference reflecting that there was no way the test could be correct. I took a blood test later that same afternoon at a doctor’s office just to prove the home test wrong. A nurse called the next day: ‘Congratulations! You are pregnant.’

My husband and I spent several moments just looking at one another, mouths agape. The nurse interrupted our telephone silence by suggesting a visit with the doctor the next day, ‘Just to be absolutely certain.’    

The doctor did an ultrasound and pronounced us definitely with child. ‘A nice strong heartbeat,’ he announced. ‘Wait . . . make that two strong heartbeats’! At that, I burst into uncontrollable tears. My husband felt the need to grab a chair to keep from losing balance and toppling over. ‘That’s impossible,’ I sobbed, ‘there are no twins in either of our families.’

‘Apparently, there are now,’ the doctor responded.    

Our twins are now two years old. Watching the world anew through their eyes is truly our greatest fantasy goal come true.

When I e-mailed Laura to thank her for her story and to see if I could feature it on The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide, I asked whether she had girls or boys or one of each and what she and her husband did about the beach house and small car.

Here’s her reply:

It has been nothing short of amazing – though exhausting – to be the mother of twins. We have a boy and a girl. We are so lucky.

There are no twins on either side of our families, but my doctor informed us that multiples are far more common in older women – women over 35 to 40 – than in younger women. I never knew that before.

We still have our little beach house with no yard. It's been listed for sale since I got pregnant, but the real estate market in California is horrible and we’ve had no buyers. So, we make do. There are nearby parks for the kids. And, of course, there's always the beach for the kids to play on. But I'd “kill” for a nice new tract house with a bonus room and a big grassy backyard.

We traded my husband's pride and joy sports car for a seven-seater wagon. He has expressed no regrets... at least none that he's verbalized.

Thank you, Laura, for telling us your inspiring story.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

What to buy a baby boomer mom for Mother’s Day

About 35 million baby boomers are mothers.

What kind of gifts do baby boomers like to receive on Mother’s Day?

Flowers, chocolates, and perfumes are always popular as are jewelry, candy, clothing, housewares, and gift certificates.

Books, music, or an MP3 player also may be good selections. Amazon.com has a special category listing these gift ideas called “Great Gifts for Your Baby Boomer Mom.”

From their list, here are some gifts that I thought would make good Mother’s Day presents:

“Herstory: Women Who Changed the World” by Deborah Ohran

“The Beatles Anthology” by Beatles

“Connections and Reflections: Mothers and Daughters in Their Own Light, in Their Own Words” by Catherine Koemptgen

“A Hard Day’s Night” DVD ~ Lionel Blair

“Gutsy Women: Travel Tips and Wisdom for the Road (Travel Tales) (No. 1) by Marybeth Bond

“Boomer Babes: A Woman’s Guide to the New Middle Ages” by Rosemary Rogers

“Flashing on the Sixties” by Lisa Law

Personal Handheld Organizer by Palm

MP3 Player

“Blue” by Joni Mitchell

Thinking about getting your boomer mom a toaster? Think again. The worst Mother’s Day presents, according to a survey reported on in the article “Mother’s Day: Outside-the-Box Gift Ideas,” are:

• Nothing: 16 percent

• Household appliances: 11 percent

• Cooking/cleaning supplies: 7 percent

• Socks: 6 percent

• Non-fitting clothes: 6 percent

These articles on Mother’s Day gifts also looked useful:

“How to Create a Gift Basket for a Baby Boomer (Female)” – eHow.com

“Books for Grownups April 2009” – AARP and Publishers Weekly

“Mother’s Day Gifts: Recession Friendly Digital Gifts for Mom and Grandma” – Demystifying Digital.com

“Creatively Simple, Inexpensive Mother’s Day Ideas” – Stretcher.com

“Mother’s Day Gifts to Dazzle Mom” – News4Jax.com

“How to Celebrate Mother’s Day” – eHow.com

“How to Give the Perfect Mother’s Day Gift” – News4Jax.com

“Buy Beverly’s Book” – Boomer Diva Nation.com

“Top 10 Mother’s Day Gifts for Business Women” – About.com

I hope these ideas are helpful.

Just under half – 48 percent – of those whose mothers are alive will send cards for Mother’s Day while 47 percent will buy their moms a present and the same number will call their moms, a 2008 Harris Poll reports.

Three in ten – 29 percent – will take their moms to lunch or dinner while 26 percent will buy or send their moms flowers.
 
One in ten will cook for their moms while 2 percent will take them to a museum, show, or event and 5 percent say they’ll do nothing for their moms.

More than half of women – 53 percent – will buy their moms a present compared to 41 percent of men. Half of men will call their moms as will 45 percent of women.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Who are our nation's moms? Facts and figures on moms and Mother’s Day

The first Mother’s Day observance was a church service in 1908 requested by Anna Jarvis, of Philadelphia, to honor her deceased mother.

Jarvis, at an early age, had heard her mother express hope that a day to commemorate all mothers would be established.

Two years after her mother’s death, Jarvis and her friends began a letter-writing campaign to declare a national Mother’s Day observance to honor mothers.

In 1914, Congress passed legislation designating the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.

On Sunday, millions of families will be gathering on Mother's Day to recognize their moms and the contributions they are making and have made. 

Who are these moms, how many children do they have, how many work, and how many are single moms?

Here are facts and figures about mothers and Mother’s Day from the U.S. Census Bureau:

How many mothers

82.8 million
Estimated number of mothers in the United States in 2004.

55%
Percentage of 15- to 44-year-olds who were mothers in 2006.

80%
Percentage of women 40 to 44 who were mothers in 2006. In 1976, 90 percent of women in that age group were mothers.

How many children

2.1
The total fertility rate or number of births per woman in the U.S. in 2006.

94%
Among the 37.8 million mothers living with children younger than 18 in 2004, the percentage who lived with their biological children only. In addition, 3 percent lived with stepchildren, 2 percent with adopted children and less than 1 percent with foster children.

Moms who’ve recently given birth

4.3 million
Number of births registered in the United States in 2006. Of this number, 435,436 were to teens 15 to 19, 112,513 to mothers 40 or older, and 494 to those 50 or older.

25
Average age of women in 2006 when they gave birth for the first time, down from 25.2 years in 2005. 

40%
Percentage of births that were the mother’s first in 2006. Another 32 percent were the second-born; 17 percent, third; and 11 percent, fourth or more.

18,674
Number of births in 2006 that were the mother’s eighth or more.

38,568
Number of births in 2006 that didn’t occur in hospitals.

32.1
Number of twin births per 1,000 total births in 2006.

153.3
Number of triplet and higher order multiple births per 100,000 total births in 2006.

August
The month with the highest number of births, with 387,798 taking place that month in 2006.

Wednesday
The most common day of the week to deliver, with an average of 13,482 births taking place on Wednesdays during 2006.

Jacob and Emily
The most popular baby names for boys and girls, respectively, in 2007.

67
Number of births in the past year per 1,000 women 15 to 50 with a graduate or professional degree.

Mothers remembered

20,227
Number of florist establishments nationwide in 2006, with 98,373 employees.

12,765
Number of employees of the 132 greeting-card publishing establishments in 2006.

13,591
The number of cosmetics, beauty supplies, and perfume stores nationwide in 2006.

28,300
Number of jewelry stores in the U.S. in 2006.

Working moms and moms-to-be

5.3 million
Number of stay-at-home moms in 2008.

57%
Among mothers 15 to 50 with infants in 2006, the percentage in the labor force.

757,616
Number of child care centers across the country in 2006. These include 73,755 centers employing 831,361 workers and another 683,861 self-employed people or other businesses without paid employees.

67%
Percentage of women who gave birth for the first time between 2001 and 2003 and worked during their pregnancy.

83%
The percentage of mothers who went back to work within a year of their child’s birth who returned to the same employer.

Single moms

9.8 million
The number of single mothers living with children younger than 18, up from 3.4 million in 1970.

6.1 million
Number of custodial mothers entitled to child support in 2005.

36%
Percentage of women 15 to 50 with a birth in the past year who weren’t currently married.

So happy Mother’s Day to you fantastic 82.8 million moms in America. I hope your day is great and that you’re able to have a wonderful celebration.

My next post will be on “What to Buy a Baby Boomer Mom for Mother’s Day.”

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Say ‘no’ to your TV, computer for Turnoff Week

For years, I’ve been concerned about the amount of time people spend watching television.

There’s so much that can be accomplished, including community-enhancing projects, but instead Americans are glued to their TV sets.

Now with the emergence of the Internet and video games, the American obsession with the screen continues.

On average, people watch four hours of TV daily and then spend another four-plus hours with computers, games, video, iPods, and cell phones. 

The average World of Warcraft gamer plays for 892 minutes per week, reports a Nielsen poll.  The company that owns Second Life – a virtual world – claims that its users spent over one million hours on line. 

Children six and under spend an average of two hours a day using screen media, about the same amount of time they spend playing outside, and well over the amount they spend reading or being read to – 39 minutes.

Screen time cuts into family time and is a leading cause of obesity in both adults and children, reports the Center for Screen-Time Awareness. Excessive use of screens for recreational purposes leads to a more sedentary and solitary lifestyle, which is unhealthy mentally and physically.

In the U.S. and other industrialized nations around the world, screen time use continues to increase every year. The average daily usage for all screens, in some countries, has reached nine hours per day. This is for recreational use of screens and doesn’t include work time. 

Turnoff Week, formerly called TV Turnoff Week, is April 20 to 26. People are encouraged to not watch TV, use their computers, or use other screens during the week, or at least cut down on usage of screens.

Millions of people around the world participate in Turnoff Week, with many taking part through schools, churches, or community groups, as families or individuals, or at work.

When they turn off their screens, people have time to relax, think, read, create something, or catch up on things they haven’t had time to do. Opportunities to spend time with families and take part in community activities also emerge.

Turnoff Week is supported by the American Medical Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, National Education Association, and President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

100 ways baby boomers can improve their lives in 2009

It’s often difficult to remain cheerful in these turbulent economic times. News of more job layoffs. Banks and other financial institutions continuing to have problems. Businesses closing.

Although the news can be discouraging, it’s important to think through what’s positive in your life and how to get more joy and satisfaction.

Here are 50 ways to improve your life this year:

 

Health

• Read novels to reduce stress.

• Walk, walk, walk.

• Use less toxic products, especially for cleaning your home and on your body.

• Eat more vegetarian meals.

• Plant fruit trees.

• Buy organic food.

• Talk honestly to your doctor about your health needs.

• Try yoga.

Community

• Talk to your neighbors.

• Find a rewarding volunteer activity.

• Move to a walkable neighborhood.

• Contribute to your city or county government.

• Take a walk in a park once a week.

Finances

• Compare prices before you buy.

• Pay off your credit cards.

• Complain when something you buy or a service isn’t right.

• Figure out ways to simplify your life.

• Read Suze Orman's 2009 Action Plan: Keeping Your Money Safe and Sound.”

 

Joy

• Read “Finding Joy: 101 Ways to Free Your Spirit and Dance With Life” by Charlotte Davis Kasl.

• Sign up for the lessons you’ve always wanted to take.

• Say “I love you” to someone you love every day.

• Have coffee or lunch with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.

• Relax by soaking in the bathtub.

• Laugh out loud.

• Sleep in once a week.

• Hold a baby.

• Remember to get as much joy as you can from the present, rather than worrying about the past or future.

• Visit a farm.

• Watch movies that are fun.

• Stop being a perfectionist.

• Visualize daily what you’d like your life to be like.

• Surround yourself with people who are positive.

• Spend a realistic amount of time using the computer.

• Don’t think about work when you leave for the day.

• Pursue your dreams.

• Enjoy the wonders of nature.

• Give up nagging.

• Figure out ways to enjoy your children more.

• Reduce the amount of television you watch.

• Take care of yourself.

• Don’t dwell on your mistakes.

• Pace yourself.

• Be open to new ideas and activities.

• Let go of disappointments and negative people from the past.

Home

• Turn on your favorite music when you clean house.

• Organize one spot or cupboard in your house weekly.

• Use lights and plants to make your home more enjoyable.

• Remodel a room.

• Buy a pretty new bedspread.

• Organize your photos.

• Recycle.

Here are additional suggestions from the article “50 Ways to Improve Your Life in 2009” in U.S. News and Reports:

Money

• Recycle old gadgets for cash.

• Choose “Obama” stocks.

• Advance your career online.

• Put your cash in safe accounts.

• Start your own nonprofit.

• Drink screw-topped wines.

• Lose the ‘microwave’ mentality.

• Make friends at work.

• Watch television free online.

• Try that home before buying.

Health

• Bike to work.

• Use glass to store food.

• Take an afternoon nap.

• Get paid for good health.

• Walk the cravings away.

• Get a new toothbrush.

• Move to Vermont.

• Get your eyes checked.

• Add obstacles to your jog.

• Get fit as you get older.

The brain

• Read Edgar Allan Poe

• Publish your book yourself.
  

• Go back to school for new skills.

• Study philosophy.

• Save that November 5 newspaper.

• Silence noise pollution.

• Finish a crossword puzzle.

• Start using Twitter.

• Learn Russian

• Keep a “clothes hanger” journal.

The world around you

• Learn about Abraham Lincoln.

• Plant a square-foot garden.

• Hypermile when you drive.

• Help those hit by the recession.

• Switch to a push mower.

• Air dry your laundry.

• Practice spreading tolerance.

• Ditch the phone while driving.

• Get your news online.

• Buy laptops for kids.

 

Play

• Learn to play bridge.

•  Visit Alaska.

• Celebrate the life of Miles Davis.

• Take a “staycation.”

• “Geotag” your digital photos.

• Watch the Beatles “Let It Be.”

• Teach your kids to cook.

• Play a fake musical instrument.

• Read the book before you see the movie.

• Try your hand at pottery.

Copyright 2009, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Help available for baby boomers selecting nursing homes for family members

The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services has launched a new rating system for nursing homes. The five-star rating system made its debut yesterday.

Newspapers across the country responded with articles on whether nursing homes in their cities or states were among the highest or lowest rated.

This is helpful information for boomers to use when they need to select a nursing home for family members.

Other useful tips include:

“How to Select a Nursing Home” – eHow

“How to Choose a Nursing Home: The ‘Do’s’ of Due Diligence” – AARP

Copyright 2008, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

What are signs that baby boomers will live longer?

As a baby boomer, are you going to live to be 100?
 
The average life expectancy has increased 30 years during the 20th century.  That’s the biggest gain in human history. And the number of people who live to be 100 also is climbing dramatically, increasing 51 percent from 1990 to 2000.
 
Advances in health, education, and disease prevention and treatments are among the reasons for these huge increases.
 
In addition, everyday habits or circumstances in your past can influence how long and how well you’ll live, according to the Prevention magazine article “14 Surprising Signs You’ll Live Longer Than You Think.”
 
Here’s Prevention’s list of science-based signs you’re on a long-life path:

1. Your mom had you young.
2. You're a tea lover.
3. You'd rather walk.
4. You skip soda (even diet).
5. You have strong legs.
6. You eat purple food.
7. You were a healthy-weight teen.
8. You don't like burgers.
9. You've been a college freshman.
10. You really like your friends...
11. ...and they're healthy.
12. You embrace new challenges.
13. You don't have a housekeeper.
14. You're a flourisher

The article also offers a longevity quiz to test your knowledge on 10 items related to aging.

Copyright 2008, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist

Survey gives baby boomers information on who makes the decisions at home and which gender is preferred in seven jobs

It’s women who are the “deciders” at home, but people are mixed on whether they’re more comfortable working with men or women in positions of authority.

Women call the shots at home

In 43 percent of couples interviewed, it's the woman who makes decisions in more areas than the man, according to a Pew Research Center survey. Men make more of the decisions in about a quarter of the couples. And about three-in-ten couples split decision-making responsibilities equally.

The survey also asked whether people are more comfortable dealing with a man or with a woman in positions of authority – doctor, banker, lawyer, police officer, airline pilot, schoolteacher, and surgeon.

Men are preferred in some jobs and women in others

Attitudes are mixed. Among respondents who have a preference, men are favored in some roles – airline pilot, surgeon, police officer, and lawyer. Women are preferred in others -- elementary school teacher and banker. The results were evenly divided about whether the family doctor should be a man or a woman.

Some jobs have no gender preference

However, for the seven positions, many say they have no gender preference – ranging from the 33 percent who say this about teachers to the 54 percent who say it about surgeons.

Older couples are more like to share equally in family decision making

The survey finds that age makes a difference when it comes to decision making and consensus-building at home. Men and women 65 or older are twice as likely as those under the age of 30 to say they and their partner share equally in making family decisions.

However, income doesn't make as much difference. In dual-income couples, it’s the woman who has more say, regardless of whether she earns more or less than her partner.

A total of 2,250 adults were interviewed by telephone for the survey, including 1,260 who were married or living with a partner.

See the survey to learn who makes the big household purchases, who handles the budget, and who controls the TV remote. Statistics also are available on shared decision-making and money and power in the home.

Copyright 2008, Rita R. Robison, Consumer Specialist